The ducks make a nice change from the sheep, don't you think? Well, if you can make them out, I can only do so much with a 1.3M pixel camera and a small dog who won't sit still for five seconds, but I can do worse.There are always going to be people who have far better work stories. sadly I am not so lucky these days. Let it be said I have an extremely boring job. There isn't a lot I can complain about, or make fun of, or entertain readers with, not even photos. Just...blurry photos of ducks and pretty trees from while out walking the dog.
But, it's not from lack of trying. While I work on getting the perfect phone-camera shot of shrubbery, I have been not-giving up on finding and applying and hoping for the next good job. I.e. one that will get me out of this three-hundred and fifty bucks-a-week rut, and hopefully please oh God please out of Palmerston North. It's just hard keeping any sort of optimism every time I get a rejection phone-call or stock-email and after the interview I had last week, it hit a little harder than most. Maybe I'm allowed to wallow just a little over this particular one, I thought it had gone extremely well, and to have gotten the 'unfortunately you weren't suitable, but thanks anyway' meant that it took a LOT longer to get to sleep last night. But I realyl do have to admit the better job is out there waiting, it will happen, and I can't let the fear of yet another rejection get to me and completely do my head in. And I have to remember that each and every single time I click that Submit button on the application page.
...and to actually get things in on TIME, not a week later, not the minute before the deadline, and NOT to be left kicking myself three hours, three days or three weeks later for not doing something proactive. Proactive also including doing laundry, because I really do not like running out of clean socks.
I have incentive to do this, I have had since I was 12, and I'm not forgetting that. It should be enough.
Well. I did wallow a little today, though wallowing in a public place is a little difficult, so 'sulking and doing the dishes' had to suffice. Next time I decide to sulk, I really should wear gloves. It isn't really useful to dwell on this for too long, and thinking that graduating next week is a huge waste of time and a brand new skirt won't help, either. Even if half my classmates already have jobs, and I'm still messing about in a supermarket deli in a dorky apron and cap, I'm not going to sit there and beat myself up over it. Just think good things. Really good things. Like getting out of here, being able to buy shoes that don't hurt, clothes that fit, and glasses that don't fall off. Even the small things: the chorus in The Arcade Fire's 'Keep The Car Running', having the cat claw at me on my lap in what he thinks is affection, mini Creme Eggs from Woolworths, finishing the first book in over three months (believe me, it's not from lack of trying. And I'm glad I finished it, The Polish House, by Radek Sikorsky is defintiely one I'll plug, (*does so, shamelessly*), and read again. My inner history geek will love me for it.) and pissed off Czechs in space-suits. Sometimes, it's the small things that count most.
